…but God?

I was mulling over something I read in the Lessons today. It was basically saying “know your why”. Why are you on this particular spiritual path of self-realization? It then goes on to lay out reasons why knowing God should be our foremost priority. The biggest reason is that God Himself is Bliss/Happiness/Joy. He is That. And most everybody is looking for happiness and looking to avoid pain. So why not seek Bliss Itself?

The most clarifying example the lesson gave was about seeking money. We are motivated to seek money because we know the why: we need food, a home, etc, and money will get us those things. But what’s the motivation for seeking God?

I remember a minister asking us to ask ourselves, “Do you really want to know God?” And be honest about the answer.  A knee-jerk response would be, “Of course, I want to know God!” It seems like a straightforward enough question; however, when I really thought about it, I noticed I got tripped up on the word “God.” And sure, there are so many names for God. I couldn’t even really grasp a concept of God when I thought on that word.

Guruji (Paramahansa Yogananda) teaches that God is both personal and impersonal. Personal would be how some people worship God in the form of Jesus; impersonal would be God experienced as Light, for example. I just realized I experience God as energy, the tingling sensation I get at the point between my eyebrows, particularly when I’m meditating, as well as other energetic sensations. I’m aware I feel those sensations, just never really thought of them as experiencing God. Experiencing Spirit, sure, but God? Hmm…it’s so interesting because I think of God as Spirit. Yah, I have a bit of a hang-up on the word “God.” I would have never realized it had I not pondered such thoughts.

I would think that knowing God/Spirit is the whole objective of spirituality, at least it is for me, but that goal can sometimes get lost. I agree with Guruji that on some level everyone is seeking God/Source/Bliss, but day in and day out, even when meditating, “God” is not my goal. My goal is to do my spiritual practice (ironically!), or to feel calm, or to pray for help…but God? No, not consciously anyways. I’m both fascinated by and thankful for the revelation. I don’t want to continue down this path and miss the point. 

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